A FATHERS CRY – A REFLECTION

This is my paper, I wrote it for class based on my life-changing reaction to the book “Father’s Cry,” Healing Your Heart and the Hearts of Those You Love.” This is why it doesn’t totally make sense on my part, but it is still worth the read and totally work buying or checking the book out at the library.

Father’s Cry was one of the first three books I read in my undergraduate program, and it has set me free. So, I feel it is worth sharing and hope that it will help everyone find freedom and healing in Christ, too.

WHAT IS THE BOOK ABOUT?

The book is very helpful for people like me, who grew up without both or either parent. Or just feel orphaned, have been wounded by their families or feel isolated from the other generations. Media doesn’t make it easy for anyone to function as a full family unit with all the insults and accusations it tells each generation harming all of them for nothing but to create more contention and to keep people and families divided and concured.

ingThe truth is there are probably more lonely people now, than any other generation since the beginning of time. And that says a lot.

The worse part of it that the separation between the generations are so commonplace that many grandchildren do not know their grandparents or perhaps see them maybe once a year.

It is even more apparent when visiting churches, many no longer offering programs or opportunities for all church members groups, especially those without young families, and seniors. It can feel very isolating at church, for someone like me without children.

However, I believe that it is an easy fix and more people understanding what is going on and the attacks to keep generations seperated will help remove the walls and attitudes that keep us all apart.

INSTEAD OF RECREATING THE WHEEL, I THOUGHT I WOULD JUST SHARE WHAT THEY WROTE:

How the Church Can Respond to the Rising Epidemic of a Fatherless Generations.

The number of children raised without a father or mother has hit epic proportions, the world over and physical and emotional consequences of this are staggering, and the spiritual ramifications are devastating. Billy Wilson, pastor and Tv host, knows that believers are uniquely equipped to help these young people, and bring them to the Lord Jesus for healing and ultimate reconciliation.

Through the sharing of his own story of abandonment and wounding, Wilson shows that when this desperate cry for a father meets the cry of the Father, blessings and revival will be unleashed into all generations. Includes biblical examples and a keen insight, Wilson reveals how older and younger generations can come together, reclaim what was lost, and turn the pain of parental wounding into a place of supernatural intimacy and ministry to others.

Wow, what a freedom we have in Christ, yet I never knew any of this until I went to a Christian University. I thought there was just something wrong with me, that I was fundamentally flawed.

I wish I had done this sooner, but who knew?

I thought Christian university was for learning sock puppet theatre to teach children’s church and for those who want to be pastors.

I feel silly now, but I digress.

FATHERS CRY – REFLECTION

WHAT WILL YOU TAKE WITH YOU…

,IIf I gain nothing else from this reading assignment, I want to remember and cherish the truth that there is hope in how amazing, expansive, and limitless God is. 

The truth is that no one and nothing is beyond his reach, no matter what one thinks or believes. 

Gaining a deeper understanding of God as a loving and accepting God who meets you where you are inside your heart, your mind, your body, your soul, and the brokenness we carry and loves us back to life, hugging us even while still unworthy and living as filthy rags and all. To me, that’s pretty amazing because it’s hard enough to get someone to talk to me if I’m not wearing the right shoes or have the right haircut. I am pretty independent that way.

But God loves me just the same, and he not only saves us or, more specifically, you, and yes, even you LGBTQ, he loves you too and wants to give you a life worth living, heal your heart, and fulfill his purpose for you in your life. He also wants to save and redeem your whole family, healing, restoring, blessing, and molding his people into loving, effective spiritual parents. How exciting is that, it is absolutely amazing beyond words.

God Provides and brings us into our purpose and adulthood; as spiritual parents, we let him.

There Is Hope.

God is more significant, more wonderous, smarter than I can even comprehend and more creative than us, as the creator of all creation he is beyond total comprehension.

God is truly amazing. I always knew but not to this degree. Where I can sense where my brain ends and the wall of my skull in intelligence, creativity and talent starts and ends; God is limitless, guided by the principles he set for himself and that keeps the universe in order and perfect what man considers chaos is simple the universe expanding, creating new solar systems and planets while recycling the elements and resources in dying systems to reenter and travel all over the universe replenishing planets with valuable minerals and gold.

That is beyong my mortal comprehension, and deepens my gratitute and awe of our creator and father in heaven, our multi-dimensional God who choses to reveals himself as the father, the son and the Holy Spirit.

God does all this, and so much more and he asks so little in return especially compared to what he gives. It truly is love. God is unconditional meet you where you are love. And loves you back to life.

Interesting personality, amazing life giving God.

NEW PERSPECTIVE ON GOD

 One How has this new information (Father’s Cry) caused me to change my view of God?

I have always known God is beyond absolutely amazing, beyond comprehension, beyond what I can express in words.

I can’t even find the words to express my amazement and gratitude to my Lord.

He is so expansive and beyond earthly measure that my puny human brain can’t even fully comprehend the magnitude, breadth, and width of his awesomeness, his power, and authority. 

I did know a lot about God going into this class, being my savior and adopted father and all.

I didn’t know as much as I had thought.

Funny how a multi-dimensional (triadic) God who is so expansive and beyond human comprehension, as the Creator and King of the entire universe and everything in it, chooses to reveal himself as Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit; just as mankind is created in the image of God is also triadic, possessing a body, a soul and a spirit, to make it easier for us to understand. And yet that confused so many people and took me a while to understand. I had listened to a messianic paster and Lester Summerall to fully grasp it and understand it.

Yet God is so beyond us that the brain still has difficulty grasping this simpler explanation.

That is an awesome God!!!

I now realize he is even more beyond my comprehension than I thought.

How expansive is he?

All this, and yet, he still cares for me, loves me and guides me.

Wow, me. Little, absolutely nothing, me.

LIFE PURPOSE..

What is my Purpose?

I have no idea…

I have always prayed for others, family, and myself.

But the reading assignment (Father’s Cry) truly opened my eyes to the fact that I can utilize all my personhood, my creative abilities, thoughts, ideas, voice, resources, interests, hands, feet, and the sum of my whole person (spirit, soul, and body) to serve God and to be of service.

I am intrigued with Rick Warren’s (Purpose-Drive Life book) intro on reverse tithing; Pursuing success so that we can co-labor with God and donate and invest money where God wants the money and resources to go.

What an honor.

I can even be a spiritual parent.

I had no idea that was an option or even the goal.

When you’re so busy dealing with your own weird feelings of weirdness from being broken and tiny, you don’t realize your purpose is to grow up and give back.

“You mean I get to grow up, be a whole, balanced human being with value, and actually give back!

Sign me up!

AS A GEN X, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE..

As a Gen X, I didn’t know that was even possible. I thought I would have to wander the earth eternally saved but forever cursed, broken and weird, experienced by many in my rejected little generation of precious jewels treated as throw-aways for so long… 

Really, we are not throw-away people?

And we can help create more value in other!!

Wow, Lord, I want that… How do I get that?

What do I need to do to become that?

I’m not totally sure of what God’s purpose is for my life is, but now I do know that God wants to use the total of my full person, including my abilities for his purpose, which is pretty cool because no matter how big I think I’m thinking, its speck of dust compared to God’s plans and ideas for me and through me to bless others, and he also gains pleasure by me for utilizing all the gifts and talents he has blessed me with.

That’s amazing…,

I had no idea..,

but I now know, I have more to give and to contribute to God than I was aware of.

That alone was worth reading the book in a week for this class assignment.

WHAT I WOULD DO DIFFERENT

V

 The book has a way of shifting your soul and revealing things you were unaware of or found hard to accept about yourself on a typical day. To answer the question, what is one thing I would like to do differently in my life, starting today, is stopping feeling sorry for myself.

Yes, utterly embarrassing that I think that way or have moments of self-pity, but It is better to expose and dealt with it than deny it and allowed to continue.

Stop being and feeling useless, that’s my desire. It doesnt matter if its true or not. Because the lying spirit twists you into forgetting what you have accomplished or are accomplishing and keeps you focused on what you have lost and cannot get back. It stills you life and happiness. It stills your futurs and keeps you stuck. 

Stop feeling like a child with stunted growth, half a grown-up. Now don’t confuse what I am saying with creatives, who have a gift of still being playful and wonderment like a child; it is that gift that allows for creating, ideation, innovation and discovery; also valuable for writing, creating items or ideas, and teaching children.

I’m talking about the other kind of child-adult problem of stunted childlikeness; that hinders adults from taking control of their lives and moving forward unwrapped from the past and from guilt or shame that can only be fully set free by God; ask for that freedom, it’s there for you too. We all that to some degree.

Of course, not everyone stays stuck, but we remain stuck if we do not acknowledge these embarrassing issues.

Basically, a belief that was drilled into many of us is that you can complain and feel frustrated but not do anything about it, don’t vote, or enforce your legal rights. That’s changing as I type this. No more being a victim or of a limited mindset.

When you come from a single-parent home, you become painfully self-centered, selfless, and selfish because you know no cares, have siblings to care for and protect while navigating through the knowledge that many closest to you do not have your best interest in mind. So, you become self-navigating and self-protecting as a child.

Since then, single parenting has become even more commonplace. The children’s benefit more now since many of their parents were latchkey kids themselves, so have a better understand, tools, support system, and understanding to raise their children because of more resources, daycare wasnt a common thing in 1970s seemed to get better as two income families became a necessity.

Many Gen Xers were raised in survival mode and needed to dig deep and care extra hard about themselves, extra less about other peoples opinions; which lowered the quality of life and created a life of isolation, not for all but for many.

We need to learn how to work in a team and minimize our whiny and snarky traits to only other Gen X’ers because they are the only ones who can see the humor in the absurdness you are experiencing and laugh with you because they get it. I appreciate that; I find it soothing but outside of gen x, not so much, most dont recognize it as a stess reliever and coping mechanizism. Without humor life becomes an undue hardship.

Other generations have a different outlet for stress and dealing with the absurd, manipulations by society, and injustice. Gen X just prefers to call them out and make fun of the absurdities in the gaslighting, that is meant to be subtle but to a gen x it’s as subtle as driving through Death Valley, Ca out in the middle of nowhere and notice a 50 ft neon sign lighting up the whole sky at 11 pm in the middle of the desert without a soul in sight, existing for no particular reason but to entertain the tumble weeds and random travelers on their way to Vegas.

We have been conditioned to believe something that is not helpful for success and thriving life. We have been socially experimented on by lousy policies and other injustices from the communistic influence of the 60s and many other bad ideas meant to help but hurt not only those they tried to help but stipped apart everyone else in the process. I say this from experience and understanding history from a 360 standpoint. It is not pretty.

Although I probably sound whiny and negative here, I am really, really, trying not to.

You see, I come from the “throwaway” generation manipulated by the three other generations who are manipulated by the media and entertainment. The only saving grace on the generation y and z is the last of the great-generation who have both experience family values and promote good citizenship to their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. After the previous two years of the pandemic and now the attack on Ukrain it seems many are waking up and seeing the past in a new way and fighting to get state public schools, colleges, and universities to stop creating slave mentalities in favor of critical thinking, problem-solving; rid communistic ideology and the hate of America. A lot is going on right now in the world.

WHAT DO I WANT? A LIFE WORTH LIVING

I am still on my path to a life worth living. I don’t want to feel bitter or slighted. I can tell by reading this paper God is still working on my heart.

And I more than welcome God’s work in my life.

I want to be a loving, kindhearted human being, stepping up and doing as God wants, becoming interdependent, not just independent, doing what is right in God’s eyes.

I want a life that is worth living. I want to be part of the solution, not the problems.

Most importantly, I want to do things God’s way. My way doesn’t work; Man’s way doesn’t work; God’s way does work; his way is unfailing and worth living.

I notice where things are lacking; I see broken people; I see hurting people; I see people throwing away their lives, and they don’t even realize it.

I see people stuck because of thick-headedness. I see parts of myself or parts of who I was or have been, in everyone to some varying degrees.

I am embarrassing, I know, thank God, for being God, or else none us would have hope.

I don’t know how to fix it, change it or even influence It. I don’t even know what to do.

I know God knows what to do; I know I have a long way to go; I know I am willing, and I know I am broken, but in our brokenness, God can meet up, lift us, use us, and speak deeper into our hearts; It is the sifting of our hearts that we find the Good, the Bad and the Ugly and can bring it to the cross.

I also know God doesn’t create throwaway people.

He is loving a God.

I want God’s will to be my will.

I need to know what it is, so can I submit, agree, and walk in it.

The more I get to know God, the more I want to know.

I TRULY WANT TO BE SET FREE.

I truly want to be free from my generation’s curse of broken families, broken hearts, broken trust, selfishness, isolation, viewing marriage and family as a burden and eventual curse instead of a blessing that it actually is.

The generation that resulted from the bad ideas and ignorance of an experimental generation, I was still affected even though my mother didn’t participate in that generation’s habits.

I can see that my mother and so many other people, men, women, and children, still experience the curse of divorce, abandonment, broken families, anger, resulting in half-orphaned children from the broken values of the boomer generation. The lie they bit into; the lies we bite into; the lies the next generation bites into, and it keeps going because of the separation and isolation of the ages from one genernation to another.

The Gen X habit in me would like to blame the boomers for their poor choices or, probably more accurately, the lie they bit into and still experience the repercussions of those unfortunate circumstances so long ago.

But the Truth is this stems back to WW2, created by the devastation it caused to the whole planet and still does. So I will let it go and do my best. 

If I looked deeper, I would probably say that this issue goes even further; caused by the devastation of war, famine, sickness, and disease taking the lives of many parents and grandparents and children throughout the generations. Death wiping away the wisdom that would have passed down throughout the family lines, leaving many children to become adults raised by themselves or another who may or may not have had their best interest in mind. If we look even further, we will find that these problems stem back to the fall of humankind caused by Adam and Eve’s treason against God in the garden of Edan.

I will accept and recognize what I can control and can’t. I will let my parents deal with their life disappointments and past pain, not letting them or others define me, my fate, or decide my social status; after all, I never asked to be here. Only God can fix them and heal their hearts from the pain of abandonment, regret, or small-mindedness by others.

So why should I carry the guilt of being half-orphaned? I didn’t cause that, I didn’t choose it, and I didn’t want that. So why am I expected to live under the curse of it? No, I no longer accept that limitation, finger pointing at me or expectation.

Through reading the book Father’s Cry, I do not have to accept those beliefs. People can say things to be hurtful when they are upset or when they feel justified, but remember the things they project on you are more of the symptoms going on in their own heart; the anger they are projecting to you may have nothing to do with you, but your circumstance may validate or give them permission in their minds the right an duty to abuse you or blame you.

And If you are the one the one causing harm, you need to apologize and not do that again. I am referring to people making you feel less than because you have a parent that did not step and be a parent, so your friends-parents, neighbors, teachers, or whoever felt confident to take advantage of this weak area; feeling confident in being abusive knowing there was one to defend you or redeem you.

So.., be forgiving and inclusive; use wisdom. Don’t let the pettiness or hottiness of others define you. Its not worth it and just makes the soul sick and the heart heavy.

The Truth is..,

God loves us, and it doesn’t matter how we got here on this planet. All that matters is that we are here, and I will live the rest of my life serving God and doing good in God’s eyes; Not in a self-righteous way, but by submitting to God and letting him clean me up and set me free. So I can be who he created me to be instead of who the world wants to beat me into being.

I will thrive with integrity and guidance from the Lord.

It’s Been Four Years…..,

It has been Four and half years since I wrote this reflection on a Father’s Cry by Billy Wilson in 2016.

I admit that re-reading what I wrote is rather uncomfortable, mainly because I am reliving my reactions and then reflecting on my feelings and the head junk from that period.

The biggest takeaway I want you take from this, is that it’s important to go through a sifting.  So, we can see what is inside and to ask for forgiveness, forgiving others, forgive God, and forgive ourselves. It is uncomfortable. But necessary so the healing part can start, which can also feel uncomfortable, not so pretty but never is baking a cake, getting a haircut or healing from a wound but all those experiences are worth what you again from it.

Sharing your weaknesses or perceived flaws is uncomfortable and can leave you vulnerable to toxic people; use wisdom with who you share with and remember it is ok to back away when you find you have opened up to a toxic person. 

Remember sharing can be very healing for others who may also feel isolated and alone in their struggles.

So the point is to share when it is helpful to others.

I have since learned that these generations named the Great Generation, Boomers, Gen X, millennials (AKA Gen Y), and Gen Z. Are terms created by marketers to segment the population by common traits to sell goods and services.

That is all it was supposed to be. However, it is being used to pigeonhole and manipulate the generations and keep them isolated from each other. So please don’t buy into the nonsense and throw away your marketing slave name.

You are just you, unique and valued, God’s precious jewels.

It’ll take time to get all the generations used to being accepted but be patient; they will come around, especially once they know they are wanted and welcome in your space.

Fathers Cry is a great book and reading. It has freed me from the lies, creating a deeper understanding of how communities and families are systematically torn down to cause dysfunction; enslaving people’s mentality, and destroying lives; it is a spiritual battle, but we still do not have to buy into nor live under it. We have God we can pray to push it off the generations; we can speak and reach out a little more and a little more often. So keep praying, create an inclusive mindset of acceptance, and work in love for the glory of God.

We can also create programs or opportunities for multigenerational, inclusive events, allowing all generations to interact and share their wisdom, joy, and pain.

We need each other; each generation offers its wisdom from experience. By separating the ages: we are causing people needlessly to feel isolated and alone. Not to mention allowing young ones to destroy themselves through ignorance or the belief that what they are experiencing is unique and that there is no one to talk to and glean wisdom. We all deal with something similar and lacking whatever.

It is an excellent time to step into an inclusive leadership role that guides and shares so people can get unstuck and move forward in success and belonging.